As I sit here at the airport Oriental Kopitiam in the wee hours of the morning, helping my parents design some simple stuff they want on Canva while waiting for my flight, I’m reminded of how far I’ve come. Ten years ago, I would have avoided designing anything because it’s just so difficult and tedious. Now, I’ve practised and practised (still an amateur tho, a really long way to go to anything worth a WOW) to the point of not necessarily hating the idea of designing.
Don’t get me wrong. I have always LOVED art. I’m one of those pretentious or performative people who go to the museum for fun. I try to romanticise life as much as I can. But the designing part was always something I dreaded.
Looking back, it was probably because my art was always the worst one of the whole class in school (from primary all the way to secondary school by the way). I didn’t decide this; the Pendidikan Seni Visual (Visual Arts Education) teacher did. It got so embarrassing to the point that I tried to plan my prefect duties around Art class so I wouldn’t need to do the work in class, then submit the one my mom helped me do at home. Yeah, good times.
Anyways, now I’m over that and lowkey enjoy light design work. Of course, it does get frustrating sometimes. Especially when what I have in my head is not exactly what I have on my screen or on the piece of paper in front of me. Times like that, I take a step back and tell myself that maybe I’m being too ambitious. I’m still a baby designer compared to those with degrees and specialisations in this area.
Actually, I think a big part of why I love my job, especially when I’m working with designers, is because try as I might, I have limited design capabilities (working on it but it doesn’t come naturally). Some of the amazing people I work with design so effortlessly it’s magic. I just need to tell them the vision, and they almost ALWAYS bring my vision to life, exactly the way I imagine it, if not even better.
I wish I could say I’m jealous. But no. I’m so in awe, I forget even the notion of envying. What they have is a gift, really. Something I hope to achieve one day. Until then, I’ll work hard to learn everything I can to at least conjure up a small portion of the magic these talented people are capable of.